Loneliness – The Silent killer

He was born to aspiring parents on Christmas Eve.  But times were tough and things came hard.  In spite of it, soon due to a few strategic business ventures his parents would come into wealth.  You might say he grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth.

He was never much for schooling.  He’d rather be experimenting, tinkering, dreaming.  And socially, well his social life was non-existent.  It is said of this man that “He never really had any friends.”

At the age of 16 his doting mother died, soon after his father too.  He would inherit his father’s estate – literally millions – at the age of 19.  He married, but it didn’t last.  He married again – again it did not last.

He tried his hand at film-making and had some success, but his passion was aviation.  He loved everything about it.  He built the largest aircraft to ever fly – and millions rolled into his bank account.

He moved to Las Vegas, and when the hotel he was staying in threatened to evict him, he bought it.  Never was money to be an object for him.  And possessions – he had them all.

But, there was just one thing missing – he was lonely – so very lonely.

Years went by.  He jutted around the world – many times; but still he was lonely.

And so it was that at the age of 70, he died after being a recluse for most of his life – especially the last 20-25 years of his life.  He was the wealthy – but lonely – Howard Hughes.

She was just the opposite.  She grew up in a lower class neighborhood.  There seemed to be no dad in the picture – some said he was in prison, and seldom did you see her mother.  Mom seemed to do her best for her and her siblings – but the best was far less than what others seemed to have in their own lower class existence.

Life was cruel to her.  Never a new dress, or shoes, or anything for that matter.  Often sent home from school for head-lice.  Never found at a school dance.  Always the last to be chosen when picking teams on the playground.  The subject of mean-spirited jokes and hurtful riddles.  Never included in the backyard games of touch football, or kick-the-can, or hide and seek.

Oh yea, there was that one friend – Chad Gunther* - the friend we all should have been.

Standing in the shadows – her silence crying out, “I’m lonely.”  Within her eyes you read distance.  Her actions cried out for love and acceptance – but we gave her only distance.  Day after day, year after year, from her spot of loneliness she cried out in silence, “I’m lonely, I am so lonely.  Would anybody be my friend.  Will somebody be my friend?”  But we did not see it then and we refused to hear her.  Whatever became of her my heart wonders – the unwanted person of Gabbie Steele*?  If I had it to do over – I’d be her friend…. Because loneliness hurts that badly.

(*The names have been changed.)

Do you know who I am?  Do you notice me?  Really notice me?  Can you sense my pain?  Have you any clue of the gnawing ache eating away at my inside?

No, I don’t think you do.  You see me at my best.  You think I have it all together.  You observe me in my strongest moments.  You paint my life as bright, and fun, full, and without suffering.  Not so.

I function.  I get my work done.  I cover it pretty well.  However…I know differently.

Although filled with faces, and people who deem me a friend, my life is cold, closed, painful, lonely.  Among a thousand, I am still alone.  Among a dozen – still alone.  And when alone – so all alone.

It is killing me.

What can I do when nothing seems to change this feeling?  What should I do when this feeling consumes my entire state?  Call on God – you say?  Maybe that’s it.  Maybe, God is my answer. But maybe – just maybe – you would be my friend – my dearest closest friend.  Maybe, you’d allow God to use you to be a true friend.  I won’t ask for much.  I won’t put many demands upon you.  I just need a person to care; to listen; to hold me; to let me vent; and to say the world is a better place with you here.  Maybe that would help my loneliness.

Don’t You Hate It When…

It seems increasingly so.  I can be on the phone with an individual who specifically asked me to call them.  As the conversation unfolds – and believe me I don't talk for endless minutes on the phone – the person will inevitably say, "Can you hold on a minute?  I have another call coming."  And before you know it, even before I can respond, I am beeped onto "Hold", until the party comes back on the line.             What is wrong with this picture?  When I went to school I was taught telephone etiquette.  And what makes the person think that I am any less important than the person calling?  Or, that the person calling may be any more important than I am?  Am I THAT boring that a person beeping in - any person beeping in – is a better alternative?  If so, don't ask me to call you.  I would rather keep my thoughts to myself. Typically when I am on the phone with a caller and I have another call coming, I ignore the incoming call.  The most important person at that moment is not the person calling, but the individual I am already speaking with.  Even when the person may hear the new call beeping in, and they encourage me to take the call; I say, "I can only speak to one person at a time while on the phone, and right now I am on the phone with you."             Here's my thought – it seems this is the way we treat God when it comes to prayer or our worship time.  We have time for our Lord as long as someone or something else isn't asking for our attention; but get a call, text, or hear our Facebook push notice say there is a message, and God goes on "Hold", and we're off to do whatever.             Does that grieve God?  It grieves me when it happens to me.  How can it not grieve God?  Come on folks, let's give God our full attention when it is time to worship and petition Him with our prayers.  Listen, you can never recapture the moments spent with God once you have dumped Him for a lesser demand.  And to place God on "Hold"…I don't think so! And by the way, seldom is the incoming call worthy of dumping the person you already have on the line.  That person already engaged in a conversation deserves your full attention at that moment – after all that's why you have voice mail, and it is how you keep friends.  Just saying it like it is!

Five Weapons the Devil Uses

The weapon of intimidation Nehemiah, as he rebuilt the walls and gates of Jerusalem, often said that his enemies tried to intimidate him.  That is they tried to make him look small and themselves bigger, stronger, and more powerful.  Likewise, our enemies prevail when they make us believe that they are bigger, stronger, and more powerful than we are.  It's what we allow the devil to do to us – even more we make him out to be bigger than our God, stronger than our faith, more powerful than our prayers which prevail against him.   The weapon of fear The moment Elijah heard that Jezebel put a contract out on his life he became afraid.  Wait a minute!  Didn't God help him defeat 450 prophets of Baal?  And didn't God meet him again and again miraculously?  Then, why is he afraid?  He was afraid because he responded to a weapon the devil uses against God's people, and it became a critical spiritual battle for Elijah.  When we succumb to fear the devil will beat us with that spirit of fear until we give up and surrender.   The weapon of fatigue Have you ever noticed how much worse things seem when we are completely exhausted and worn out?  Nothing goes right; everybody is against us; we're the only one who has ever walked through the valley we are facing; nobody understands – that's how it is when we are overly exhausted. Elijah cried out to God, "I am the only one left who loves and serves you, and now my life is in danger."  However, look what God does.  He gets Elijah to a place where he can rest and take in nourishment.  So that Elijah could see things as they really were, and so he could be useful to God's kingdom. Whatever you do, try not to fight the devil when you are exhausted.  And if you find yourself there anyway against your wishes, make no permanent decisions regarding your future until God has had the opportunity to refresh you.   A fourth weapon - discouragement and depression Elijah says, "I want to die.  I don't want to live anymore.  The fight is too hard; the battle too great.  Just let me die."  Why would he say this?  He's discouraged – depressed.  He's at an all-time low. Ever been there?  Listen, we can confess with our mouths all we want that life is good and we're the blessed of the Lord, but let's get real – there are times when we get discouraged.  We need to recognize it for what it is.  It's a tool the enemy uses to bring us down so he can defeat us.  It's one reason why we need to gather godly faith-filled people around us, who speak positive things into our lives.  In addition, we have to be rehearsing the goodness of God's mercies over our lives.   Another weapon the devil uses is lies and half-truths. He loves to whisper in our ear things that are not true.  "Well, did you hear what the doctor said?"  "Do you realize what people think about you – what they're saying about you?"  "Do you know that God doesn't love you like He loves others?"  "See, you were prayed for, and things didn't work out for you."  "God is not going to work a miracle on your behalf."  "God doesn't hear your prayers."  All lies and half-truths.  We should expect them and recognize them when they come. After Jesus had fasted and prayed for forty days and nights, Satan came to Him and began quoting the Scriptures to Jesus.  Telling Him it would be perfectly within reason to turn a stone into bread to feed His famished body.  He said, "You could throw yourself off the highest point of this Temple so all those who watched would know that you are someone special, and you'll not hurt yourself, because God's Word says, 'He will give His angels charge over you.'"  And the devil said, "If you will bow down to me, I will give you everything you lay your eyes upon – all the splendor and the kingdoms of the world."  To every one of these half-truths Jesus had to respond with the truth of the Scriptures as God meant them. The way to fight the devil with all of his lies, half-truths and weapons is to stand on the Word of God, gather godly people around you, and believe God – even confess - that greater is He who is in you than he who is against you; and that you are more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ who loves you.

Casey Anthony – My thoughts

The last six weeks has been a media frenzy in Central Florida, and possibly throughout parts of the country as Casey Anthony was tried.  We have watched two well –versed eloquent legal teams hash every detail, launch accusations, and defend their belief.  And the verdict?  Not guilty.  Social polls say, "The jury got it wrong.  Casey got away with murder.  Another injustice."  What do you say?   I would like to weigh in on this matter, but truthfully I cannot.  I am not attempting to skirt the issue.  I just don't know that I have enough of the details to make an accurate assessment of guilt or innocence.  I must trust the system.  What concerns me even greater is that there is a more accurate – no, in fact, most accurate - system we will all face someday.  And the jury won't be that of 12 individuals.  The jury and judge will consist of One.  Jesus.  The charge – he or she is a Christian; a Christ-follower; a lover of God.  Will there be sufficient evidence to convict you?

Free Indeed!

My wife and I took a few days vacation and visited one of the great historical cities of our nation. Once booked, we embarked on a guided tour of the old city.  Just as we pulled up to one of the city's historical hotspots the tour guide stated, "If you'll look off to your right you'll see the actual spot where years ago the Emancipation Proclamation was read.  On that day men and women showed up as slaves, and left free from their slavery."   The crispness with which the tour guide said this rung in my ears and heart.  I thought this is so neat.  Within minutes people who were once owned, once ruled, once bound, and once enslaved, were set free from their bondage.   I couldn't help but think, that was exactly what happened when I met and accepted Jesus Christ.  I showed up enslaved, bound, owned, and ruled by sin and was immediately set free.  Did you hear me?  Immediately – I was set free!  What a glorious day that was!

Praising Through the Pain

I did a stupid thing yesterday!  At my age, I tried to pick up a television from the floor injuring my back.   A visit to the chiropractor has brought little relief – very little relief.  As I driving to the church thinking about our time of worship this Sunday morning – and thinking about my pain, I had an "aha" moment!  Many times throughout life we have to praise God, even as we go through the pain.

I am sure as Jesus hung on the cross every fiber of His body screamed out in pain.  But, He never uttered a bitter or complaining word.  It's the perfect picture of honoring God through our pain.

I am not sure what kind of pain you carry this day.  Maybe you are facing the pain of losing a loved one; maybe the pain of a spouse walking out on you; maybe physical pain; or the scars of a painful past.  Whatever it may be, Jesus understands.  He carried that pain as He too bore pain – our pain.

We know Jesus is our Healer.  Today, as I sit here in my pain, I trust Him for healing.  But, until I receive it, I am going to praise Him through the pain.  Let me encourage you to trust and praise Him through your pain.  He cares for you.  In fact, He cared so much that He has already carried that pain to the cross, and now He hears your cries to be set free from that pain.  So until you fully experience His healing, praise Him through the pain.

Where's The Fire?

Jeremiah described his passion.  No wait, he was its passion.  Whichever.  It was consuming him.  Escape it must.  He said, "I have a fire shut up in my bones; I am weary of holding it in – indeed I cannot."

 

A raging inferno was ablaze inside of him.  Like a drowning man seeking the surface, this fire was seeking an escape.  Crying out for oxygen, it demanded to be released.  Sheer will-power could contain it no longer – not for even a second longer.   Burn it must – even burn it's hottest.

 

Where's the fire in believers these days?  It seems we have settled for "the show" at church.  We've bought into the performance.  We have entertained ourselves with the charisma of eloquent preachers.  BUT where's the fire?  Not just on the platform, but within our hearts?

 

Why does it seem like most Christians barely survive from week to week before they run out of spiritual gas?  I'll tell you why, because there is no fire in their bellies - nothing that gives them a reason to burn brightly.

 

Where did we sacrifice it?  When did the fire leave us?

 

It left us when we felt it no longer necessary to find ourselves face down at an altar crying out to God for fire.  It departed from us when we felt it more important to get to the restaurant after a service than to spend precious moments wailing before God asking for fresh fire; for a new touch of His Spirit; for souls; saying "God, I can't live like this anymore.  I need you to come and renew me, fill me, anoint me; use me.  God, I am not willing to go another day without your fire consuming me."  That's when we lost it.

 

If you want it back, back up to the middle of the last paragraph and make it your prayer.  Pray it until fire fills your insides to the point where you can contain it no longer.  Then go set your family, church, city, and your work-place ablaze.

Things In Common

 What does Columbus discovering America, the final episode of MASH, Compact Disc recordings, and the first time Jay Leno appeared on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson have in common?  They all happened during the month of March sometime along history's timeline.  You might want to tuck these facts away in your mind for the next time you play Trivial Pursuit!

Know what else happened in March?  Victorious Life Church, Port Orange (formerly Bethel Assembly of God) was founded.  In March 1999 godly people came together under the pastoral leadership of John and Bobbie Jean Anderegg and prayed God would raise up an Assemblies of God church in Port Orange to His glory.  They believed against all odds - and prevailed.  These who have walked, served, and possessed faith before us are our "great cloud of witnesses."

Seldom do we look back to honor those who have carried the torch before us.  Somehow they get lost in the course of events that becomes history.  But remember and honor them we must.  While the things I mentioned in my first paragraph hold little, if any, spiritual significance the founding of a church for God's glory holds profound importance.

Think of the lives touched, those saved through our efforts, those who know healing because they found faith-filled believers who prayed.  Think of those who were filled with the Holy Spirit, baptized in water, changed by the power of God - and think about those who went on to heaven confessing Jesus as their Lord while they worshipped Him and were members of Victorious Life Church.  That's significant!  And even though it may never be a fact you will ever have to recall as you engage in Trivial Pursuit, they're facts written down in God's Book of Remembrances and Significant Dates.  Truth is - I'd rather be engaged in that which makes God's history books than that which makes this world's history any day.  Get involved in God's work.  Make a mark in the spiritual history of your church.

 

Mission and Miracles

A group prayed in earnest as they gathered in the predawn hours asking God to watch over them and direct the missions trip they were about to embark on.  With the last bag crammed into the already overloaded van they were on their way.  Miami was the airport that would ultimately lead to their destination of Barahona, Dominican Republic.  Their arrival at the Miami airport was pretty routine until….until it was realized one team member had not come with her passport.  She thought it was there, but "there" it wasn't.  Would the dream of taking her first missions trip, the one she worked so hard to raise money for and set her sights upon for so long, go up in smoke before it even started?  Not a chance.  It was determined she could still leave the country; it was reentry to the States that might cause the problem.  Nonetheless, she would go in hopes her passport could be overnighted to Barahona to guarantee her return.

As the team made their way through security time was growing very short.  The flight was to leave within minutes.  As each member's carry-on bag was carefully checked a hammer was found in one member's bag.  A hammer - after all the team was going to engage in some light construction work, so a hammer didn't seem to be so unusual.  "Nope.  Not allowed in the seating area of the plane.  It has to be shipped with the under-stored luggage."  As two team members dash off to box and check the hammer with baggage the final boarding calls are beckoning.  You could feel every second ticking away as the doors of the plane are pulled shut, but not without the two team-members scooting through the open crevice of the closing door.  One second later and the team would've been minus two members.

The packed flight of several hundred people went much as expected until...until final descent.  Upon descent the plane made several sudden jerks downward.  What was going on?  Why such a rough ride all of a sudden?  The pilot's voice soon brought the news.  It was uncertain if the plane's nose gear was engaged in the landing position.  The plane's instrument panel did not indicate it was down and locked into place.  After repeated sweeps by the airport the plane would circle over the ocean again, dump it's fuel, and prepare to belly-flop onto the runway.  Emergency fire and rescue personnel were already preparing for the mop up.  With one last sweep and a multitude of prayers ascending to heaven the plane meets the runway, and as we roll to a stop we realize the hand of God that kept us safe and had been with us since we prayed that morning - the hand of God that performs miracles when people are engaged in His mission of spreading the gospel to every corner of the world.

 

Refuse to live in the valley of the shadow of death

 

David writes, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil."  There is a huge difference between walking through and living in the valley of the shadow of death.  We have to make a choice as to whether we are going to live and die in the valley of the shadow of death, or if we are simply going to walk through the valley.

Let me paint the picture of the valley of the shadow of death for you that David speaks of.  According to Phillip Keller, author of a Shepherds Look At Psalm 23, the valley of the shadow of death would be faced twice a year when shepherds would lead their flocks back into the mountains for grazing, then back from the mountains for wintering near the homefront.  It was as they made these journeys through the hills, clefts and mountains that the sheep and shepherd faced some perilous situations.  They faced the dangers of flash floods, avalanches, rock slides, narrow passages, steep cliffs, poisonous plants and snakes, and the possible attacks from ferocious mountain lions and other predators.  The trip was truly at the risk of death every time they made the passage.

Here is the parallel – every Christian faces the valley of the shadow of death.  It is that valley in which your spiritual life is put to the test.  There you will either live or die.  But notice, it is not a place where we are destined to linger.  It's a valley we walk through, but it is not a lodging place.  Yet this is where many make their mistake – some choose to live in the valley of the shadow of death.  So, all they talk about sounds like death.  "Do you know who died this week?  Did you hear the bad news about so and so?  I am feeling so badly; I'm not sure if I am going to make it.  My finances are at rock bottom; my situation is bad, bad, bad."  With every statement they dig their grave as they linger in the valley of the shadow of death.

Do yourself a favor and refuse to live in the valley of the shadow of death.  Might you have to walk through it occasionally?  Yes, but you don't have to vacation or live there.  We simply pass through it.  We'll face the dangers on both sides; we may even have a few scares along the way (David did); but we continue to walk through it, never allowing ourselves to get snagged there.

God tells us we can walk through this valley with confidence.  David said as he led his sheep through this valley again and again, "I will fear no evil, because you are with me."  God, you go with us.  And David said, "Your rod and your staff, they comfort me."  In other words, Lord God, you offer me security.  In the midst of every threat, God, you offer protection.  You say, 'It is going to be okay.'  You keep me from being afraid.

Here is the difference.  If you are simply walking through the valley of the shadow of death as a part of your journey through life, God has your back.  But, if you have chosen to linger there, even live there, you're in a heap of trouble.  Your spiritual well-being is at risk.  The devil is about ready to pounce on you and take you out.  Listen, determine now to get out of that valley – refuse to live or linger in that valley.  Change whatever has to be changed - because it won't take you to your desired end or bring God's blessings to your life.

 

My Two Cents Worth

Believe me I am not going to go deep here (as if I could being that math and science were not my strength in school), but there is a law of physics that says for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Simply put - there are consequences for your actions.  You may think nothing of one more swipe of the credit card for the sweater "I absolutely adore and can't live without" or, the new cell phone that's "got the cutest little ringtones" or, dinner at that favorite restaurant where "the food is to die for."  Guess what.  There are consequences for those actions.  It's called a credit card bill at the end of the month.

You may feel one more dessert, that extra plate of food, and the super-sized burger may not catch up with you, but guess what.  There are consequences for those actions.  Those things translate into unwanted pounds, cholesterol, heart-disease, and more - and it literally demands a pound of flesh (and fat!) to shed those unwanted pounds.

You may think laying off one more Sunday, or dropping Wednesdays or your small group from your church routine, isn't going to have much of an effect.  Oh yea!  The famous last words of every backslider!  All of these things have consequences.

There are two words we do not hear or practice often anymore - discipline and moderation.  We live during a time of excesses.  We demand more, always more, even when budgets, waistlines and our spiritual beings are crying ENOUGH ALREADY.  Whatever happened to disciplining our desires against that which we can afford?  Whatever happened to denying ourselves that "one more" little item that takes us over the edge?  It's time to give new consideration to living lives of discipline and moderation.

Now is the time to serve notice on yourself.  You must get a grip on these things (and/or other things not mentioned above).  If you are to have a healthy, happy and prosperous new year you must begin the regiment of discipline and moderation.  Otherwise you will pay the price, and believe me it will cost you big time.