He was born to aspiring parents on Christmas Eve. But times were tough and things came hard. In spite of it, soon due to a few strategic business ventures his parents would come into wealth. You might say he grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth.
He was never much for schooling. He’d rather be experimenting, tinkering, dreaming. And socially, well his social life was non-existent. It is said of this man that “He never really had any friends.”
At the age of 16 his doting mother died, soon after his father too. He would inherit his father’s estate – literally millions – at the age of 19. He married, but it didn’t last. He married again – again it did not last.
He tried his hand at film-making and had some success, but his passion was aviation. He loved everything about it. He built the largest aircraft to ever fly – and millions rolled into his bank account.
He moved to Las Vegas, and when the hotel he was staying in threatened to evict him, he bought it. Never was money to be an object for him. And possessions – he had them all.
But, there was just one thing missing – he was lonely – so very lonely.
Years went by. He jutted around the world – many times; but still he was lonely.
And so it was that at the age of 70, he died after being a recluse for most of his life – especially the last 20-25 years of his life. He was the wealthy – but lonely – Howard Hughes.
She was just the opposite. She grew up in a lower class neighborhood. There seemed to be no dad in the picture – some said he was in prison, and seldom did you see her mother. Mom seemed to do her best for her and her siblings – but the best was far less than what others seemed to have in their own lower class existence.
Life was cruel to her. Never a new dress, or shoes, or anything for that matter. Often sent home from school for head-lice. Never found at a school dance. Always the last to be chosen when picking teams on the playground. The subject of mean-spirited jokes and hurtful riddles. Never included in the backyard games of touch football, or kick-the-can, or hide and seek.
Oh yea, there was that one friend – Chad Gunther* - the friend we all should have been.
Standing in the shadows – her silence crying out, “I’m lonely.” Within her eyes you read distance. Her actions cried out for love and acceptance – but we gave her only distance. Day after day, year after year, from her spot of loneliness she cried out in silence, “I’m lonely, I am so lonely. Would anybody be my friend. Will somebody be my friend?” But we did not see it then and we refused to hear her. Whatever became of her my heart wonders – the unwanted person of Gabbie Steele*? If I had it to do over – I’d be her friend…. Because loneliness hurts that badly.
(*The names have been changed.)
Do you know who I am? Do you notice me? Really notice me? Can you sense my pain? Have you any clue of the gnawing ache eating away at my inside?
No, I don’t think you do. You see me at my best. You think I have it all together. You observe me in my strongest moments. You paint my life as bright, and fun, full, and without suffering. Not so.
I function. I get my work done. I cover it pretty well. However…I know differently.
Although filled with faces, and people who deem me a friend, my life is cold, closed, painful, lonely. Among a thousand, I am still alone. Among a dozen – still alone. And when alone – so all alone.
It is killing me.
What can I do when nothing seems to change this feeling? What should I do when this feeling consumes my entire state? Call on God – you say? Maybe that’s it. Maybe, God is my answer. But maybe – just maybe – you would be my friend – my dearest closest friend. Maybe, you’d allow God to use you to be a true friend. I won’t ask for much. I won’t put many demands upon you. I just need a person to care; to listen; to hold me; to let me vent; and to say the world is a better place with you here. Maybe that would help my loneliness.
